Almyra Hotel, Cyprus
/34°45'15.4"N 32°25'07.8"E Almyra Hotel, Cyprus
This is a tale like none I have told before.
Not only is this a story about an inclusive resort (of which I had never experienced) but you should be aware upfront… this is a family holiday!
‘Ah but she is childless and carefree’ I hear you cry. And you would be correct.
However in honour of my auntie agreeing to marry her beloved, here we are in Cyprus, with 39 of us in tow!
The teeniest of us are 9 months old and the wisest of us are 90 years old, with everyone else in-between.
How we were going to cater to everyone for a week? I did wonder.
Step up and step forth inclusive resorts. I was dubious. They have never appealed to me, but alas I have never needed them before. I now understand. The Almyra catered to the whole fam-damily. It was a miracle.
Wake, brunch, pool, nap, play, pool, repeat, cocktail hour, dinner. Everyone fed, everyone entertained.
Because of this utmost convenient of arrangements, this is also not a story about Paphos. We barely left the hotel. We spent the days between the ‘kids’ pool, the ‘everyone is welcome’ pool and the ‘adults’ only pool. We ordered old fashioned lemonade over tumbles of ice. We played snap under sun umbrellas. We floated.
One mid-week lunch excursion had been planned, leaving the younger ones behind to splash around we jumped on a bus and headed up into the Troodos Mountains.
It was hot. The land was dry. Mercifully the bus was air conditioned and Meze was on the way…
Cypriot traditional cuisine serves Meze style; multiple dishes to be shared lovingly across a long lazy lunch. The trick with Meze, and I am not claiming to have nailed this, is to go slow at the start because there is SO much more to come. I fall at the first hurdle, you literally have me at Halloumi!
But you must trust, there is more, and you are going to want to eat it.
Over the course of a couple of hours our hosts at Phini Tavern delivered no less than the following to our table; Tahini, Taramas, Tzatziki, Hummus and Olives, Halloumi, Pastitsio (Greek baked pasta with meat and béchamel sauce), Koupepia (stuffed Vine leaves), Kleftico ( lamb roasted slow with garlic, lemon, herbs, potatoes), Sheftalies (traditional sausage), Souvla (BBQ meat skewers) and Paidakia ( marinated chops).
After such a feast, one welcomed a stroll through the traditional village of Omodos.
The cobbled paths lead to a 17th-century stone monastery, which you can visit. Every August they host a wine festival here and as you stroll they will happily share samples of the locally made tipple.
I had one family friendly game in my suitcase, Bean Boozled. Roulette with Jelly Beans. Spin a colour and hope you are lucky enough to bite down on Tutti-Fruitti instead of Stinky Socks and you will certainly be chuffed with Chocolate Pudding instead of Canned Dog Food!
It’s sadistic, harmless, hilarious fun.
Hoping to be less ‘spinster’ and more ‘fun aunt’, I told the grownups I was happy to take their water-babies to splash around at Aphrodite Water Park. I thought we would be 3 hours max. I am an un-initiated childless fool. We stayed all day.
Good job it was so much fun, temperature was perfect, it felt clean and safe, they loved it, I loved it, plus who needs the gym when you’ve carried two-man rafts up Fake Mountain on repeat over and over and over again. Super Volcano and the Wet Bubble were crowd pleasers from our crew.
* Food was terrible (I am not used to children’s tourist attractions but I fear the selection was painfully standard… sorry looking hotdogs, burgers and fries), I ate ice lollies all day.
In front of the Almyra you will find Pafos Watersports & boat trips, a plethora of activities await your participation. We sailed the hobicats and took a few ‘Crazy rides’ on tow behind the speedboat. However my hands-down favourite was the paragliding… how have I not done this before?!
It was serene.
(Well it would have been if it wasn’t for the squealy one in the middle.)
Come cocktail hour, on occasion, we might wander along the promenade, left or right will deliver plenty of sunset drinking options.
EXCELLENT HOSTS AT SUITE 48 KEEPING US SWEET
The wedding was special. The ceremony was held on the white roof terraces overlooking the Mediterranean with a private reception in our own section of the hotel, complete with infinity pool, infinite chilled Rosé, dance floor and sunset!
It was the holiday I didn’t realise how much I needed. A true break. But it was more than that, it was family.
With love,
C x
